This is far from being such a project. I fully agree that the current state of things is crazy and this is part of the reason why we're doing a project to genuinely make it a proper out of box experience. I even get confused with some of the setups needed - I even randomly found 250 EUR worth of Bitcoin I had totally forgotten I had. It's like the amount of manual work to get mobile internet working back in the day.
How about you send me a private message on here and we'll have a more real-time conversation on some medium (Telegram? IRC?); and then gather our thoughts and differing views into a post for the rest?