Chen (and others), I would like to tell you a story. A story from my own life. I apologize in advance for the length but I would plead with you to find the time and read it as it was very educational for me and I believe others would also benefit and, maybe, avoid some of the mistakes I have made.

Years ago, before I acquired a family, I used to go playing chess with some guys from work. Once a week, we met in the pub after work, set up our boards and played, glass of beer in one hand, eyes on the board. I was not a complete rookie, I had been playing recreationally for years, but some of the guys were miles ahead of me. Reading theory books, playing competitively etc.

I learned a lot from them. Theory I missed on before, famous strategies by grand masters of the past... But by far the most valuable lesson I learned was this. Always, and I have to emphasize that, ALWAYS think like your opponent. Whether you are considering your next move or planning the whole strategy, imagine you are not sitting in your own place but on the other side. What would you do? How would you play? Could you see any strengths and weaknesses you are missing when looking at the board from your own side only? Could you, as your opponent, spot what you are planning to do and make any countermeasures?

This advice, to try to see the same situation from other than your own side, should be a universal strategy. Not only in chess, but in every walk of life. Business and political negotiations, even personal interactions like asking a girl (or guy) out, even banal things like deciding which pub to go to or what movie to see.

To make it clear, I am the first one to admit that it is not easy. Even with a full knowledge of the advice, I find that I do not always follow it. I cannot always put myself completely in the other side's position. My judgment is always, at least partially, clouded by my own perspective. Of course outcome so-and-so is the best, so of course both sides will want to work towards that outcome. It is obvious, right? Not necessarily. What we often forget, is that when we say, "outcome so-and-so is the best", we really mean that is is the best for me. What does the other side think? Would the knowledge of the answer change our approach?

Why am I going to such lengths (literally! ) to pontificate like this?

Because I think you have fallen into the same trap, failing to consider how the situation may appear to someone other than you. I have to emphasize, I do not blame you. I do not think it was deliberate. And I am not, I repeat, not throwing around the Dave's favourite "s" word. It's just that the trap is so well masked and extremely difficult to avoid, you have to be constantly making a conscious effort to avoid it.

For example, you know that Youyota was not your project, so of course it is obvious to everyone, right? Well, wrong. You have some inside knowledge that we don't, the "chess board" may look different from our side. As far as we can see, you introduced the project to us. You promoted it. You were the only contact point. There was some mysterious "Mike", but no one has ever seen him or exchanged a single message with him. You know him, we don't. And then, when things started to go south, you were the one who edited the first post in the Youyota thread, the one where you initially introduced the project and described how easy and straightforward it was going to be.

Let me stress again, I am not accusing you of anything nefarious. Only of not seeing the forest for the trees and failing to consider how the same situation may look different from the other side.